Nameless Mornings
by funga-fu-fu
Summary: He would never admit it, but Arthur enjoyed waking up in Antonio's embrace. He wouldn't admit to a lot of things.


Disclaimer: Hetalia and its characters are not mine

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Soft snores and warm breath dragged him away from his heavy sleep and into the sharp focus of reality. His eyes swept around the room, trying to recognize it. His eyesight blurred along the edges and his head throbbed pitifully. Arthur closed his eyes and buried his pounding head in his arms. For now he was content in knowing that this was indeed his room. The world went still for a moment and his insides stopped shaking. He tried to go back to sleep and prayed that his hangover would be over by the time he woke up. His stomach churned and Arthur knew he wasn't going to like what was coming. Not one bit.

The soft snores kept him on the verge of falling asleep and the occasional sharp intake of breath jerked him awake. Arthur would have kicked the other man out, but his warmth was soothing the hangover that was threatening to pound his sanity to pieces. So he pressed himself harder against the warm body behind him. Not that there was much space left between them to begin with. The other had wrapped himself around Arthur completely during the night. One hand was pushed beneath the blond's head while the other was tucked around his chest. Arthur's back fully pressed to his lover's chest.

He would never admit it, but he enjoyed waking up in Antonio's embrace. He smelled like the sun and the sea and it made Arthur shiver in excitement. It made him relax and put his guard down. No, he would never admit that he needed a safe place from the constant wars, political maneuvering and internal conflicts, let alone that he had found it in the arms of his once enemy. He wouldn't admit to a lot of things. He would never say that he enjoyed those little respites where they were allies and not enemies. He would never tell a soul how thrilled he had been when they were married, short as it had been. No, he would never confess that in his opinion Henry had rejected Catherine far too quickly and he still cursed the sickness that had claimed Mary's life. It wasn't that he wanted a Spanish ruler on his throne. No, that privilege rightfully belonged only to his people. He was a possessive bastard and he had gotten a thrill of seeing his ring around Antonio's finger. The mighty Imperio Español had been _his_ and Antonio had felt no shame about it. Not that Antonio had even understood the concept of shame back then. He probably learned it when his so called bosses had wasted his splendor and glory and reduced him to a puppet.

"Vergüenza." [ _Shame_ ]Arthur's lips curled in distaste at the shape of the word. It was sharp and dripping with bitterness. He knew why exactly. He had seen it. The American colonies had been lost and some even sold. The people had been hungry and he shuddered remembering the Civil War.

Arthur tentatively uncurled from his position and propped his head on his hand. Antonio pulled away to lay on his back and the snores finally stopped. Arthur considered another attempt at falling asleep, but he couldn't look away from his lover. He had become leaner, but the midday sun still found enough muscle beneath the dark skin to play with. The blond's head dropped on the other's shoulder, knocked down by an onslaught of pain. He needed to get some tea for that and possibly some food for the trembling in his limbs, but he wasn't really counting on stomaching it. Instead he caressed down Antonio's chest, not able to even entertain the thought of getting up. His lover had become softer to the touch. Back in the days Antonio had been nothing, but firm muscle, strong hands and broad shoulders. Arthur had spent quite some time admiring his back. That enormous halberd had had other advantages than just winning battles.

That was another thing Arthur would never confess to. It had been tiring that he couldn't get his hands on Antonio unless they had sunk a few ships. Back then they had to keep appearance and their pride wouldn't allow them to go to the other. They had been enemies. So they had fought. The thrill of the chase had a charm in its own. It had been electrifying to see the Spanish flag fluttering on top of the Estrella. Each time he had almost burst out of his skin from impatience as they had gone through their dance. Round shots, bar and chain shots, bundles and finally the swivels before boarding. Even now Arthur found his blood pumping faster as he remembered the rumble of the canons, the deafening crash of splintering wood and the glint of the metal. He had been no better than the men he had commanded. They had been moths drawn to the fiery luster of Spanish gold. He had been hopelessly chasing Spain himself. He enjoyed the spoils of victory, but gold had never been first on his list. They were countries, they knew that riches didn't last and all it took was a moment of distraction before someone stabbed you in the back. Rather Arthur had been drawn to Spain himself. Antonio had been incorrigible, unconquerable. His eyes had glinted with the fire of the burning ships around them. His smirk had turned predatory when his eyes had set on Arthur. Each time he had slung that halberd he had been out for blood. Arthur had never been able to deny him the pleasure.

Back then it hadn't been possible to tame Antonio. Not by force, nor chains or pleasure. As it turned out not by marriage either. Arthur would never admit it, but his heart had leapt in his chest the first time Antonio had bowed to him and asked him for a dance, everyone else in the room be damned. Arthur had accepted and a part of him had been truly satisfied by the shocked looks of their king and queen, the very people that had pushed them together. After that Antonio had requested a single bedroom for the two of them and everyone had been so scandalized they had said yes just to be done and over with the conversation. It hadn't stopped there. Arthur had often woken up to a tray of food especially prepared for him by Antonio or had received a cup of tea during a tense meeting. Antonio had continued courting him until the end of their marriages. A trip to the lake, a dinner, a rose. Sometimes it had been as simple as the brushing of skin against skin or a squeeze on the shoulder to remind him that he hadn't been alone. Arthur had stoically accepted all of this while his heart had warmed up every time. He hadn't been allowed to respond in kind when they were in public. His reputation and pride hadn't allowed him to show how much he had fallen for Antonio. Acting on his feelings in front of everyone would have meant showing weakness. He couldn't allow himself to be seen as weak. They had been different. They still were.

Arthur's body wrapped around his lover's, guided only by the need to touch and feel. One of his legs over Antonio's, a hand over his chest and he was almost covering the brunet with his own body. He nuzzled the other's throat, smelling the sun and the sea and trailed soft kisses on the warm skin until he reached full lips. They pressed against his in a lazy kiss. Arthur opened his eyes to see sleepy green ones looking back at him.

"Hola." Antonio mumbled and smiled gently.

Arthur's heart still swelled up in his chest. It was funny in a way. He had conquered the seven seas, he had crossed the Sahara desert and chased moose across the American taiga. He had subdued Malaysian tigers and slept underneath the shadows of Taj Mahal. He even owned a part of the Antarctic and yet he still came back here. To this moment with this man.

Arthur smiled in return and kissed Antonio's shoulder. "Good morning."

They had long ago stopped questioning waking up with each other. To be precise Arthur had stopped panicking, Antonio had always been perfectly fine with it. It didn't matter that it meant one of them had been too drunk to think straight the previous night. At the end of the day they were nothing, but puppets measured against the standards of trifling men. Embodiments of morals, values and traditions that were as rigid as a dandelion in the wind. So what if they stole a few moments together? All that mattered was the hand sliding along his skin and the shivers it sent along his spine.

Fingers entwined in his hair and Antonio licked his lips, asking for another kiss. Arthur opened his mouth and let the day pass by in lazy kisses and warm touches.


End file.
